Celebrating the life of Deborah Drury

 The abridged version of the PowerPoint slides were shown at the celebration of Deborah’s life on Saturday 21st January 2023. 



I have the opportunity to show both the short and the long (unedited versions), with some comments by myself (Andrew – Deborah’s husband).

The numbering is for the long version with the numbers in brackets for the shorter version. I apologise for the speed of the presentations.

I hope that you enjoy some of your own reminiscences of this wonderful, beautiful lady

 









  



1 (1) A purple candle (her favourite colour) was lit by Rev. Tony Shutt on the last assembly at Send Church of England Primary School before they broke up for the Christmas holidays in 2022. It was the day after Deborah had gone to start her new adventures with Jesus (to use her own words). The candle was then taken to the parish church where it remained until Christmas Day. The photo sums up the centrality of Jesus dying on the cross for Deborah.

Tony has kindly given me the candle and it is now situated in our study.

 

2 (2) Deborah had fond memories of growing up in Poole with her Dad, Mum and her brothers, Paul and Keith.

 

3 (3) She has always loved school. She told me that she used to stay behind in the classroom for the teacher to give her algebra lessons as she was so good – when the other children came back, Deborah could just get on with her advanced work.

 

4 (4) This photo was taken shortly after we started going out; indeed, we joined up with other members of my family on Anglesey.

 

5 Right from the first days, we knew that we had a love of history. We were members of the National Trust, upgrading to life membership over time. When we went on holiday, it was quite common for our plans to include NT places. We were known to join other organisations (such as English Heritage, Historic Houses Association) for a year if they had more properties in the area that we wanted to go to.

 

6 (5) On our wedding day (19th December 1992), Deborah looked truly stunning and, honestly, she got better looking as the years went on. I remember the excitement that we had in spending the years ahead together. Looking at the video, there is a realisation that we talked together most of the way through the service.

Although we enjoyed our wedding day, we looked forward more to our ongoing marriage much more.

 

7 On our honeymoon, it was freezing cold in Guernsey. We had scarves and jumpers especially knitted for us by a good friend.

 

8 (6) For someone who hated being photographed, Deborah is quite relaxed in front of this camera. It was part of a session where we were being photographed as the Blake family for a significant birthday.

 

9 The picture of Deborah and her youngest niece, Rachel, was taken after Rachel’s christening in Poole. Needless to say, Rachel towered over both of us.

 

10 It is another photography session set up with a mother of a child that Deborah taught in Stoneleigh. It shows her ready smile again.

 

11 We enjoyed visiting Wisley, the RHS garden near us, as we like to look at God’s creation around us.

 

12 (7) In perhaps my favourite photo, Deborah is with Aunty Mary - they had such a tremendous relationship. We went away with her on several occasions, this one being taken at the Roman baths at Bath.

 

13 I look less happy about my photo being taken. The telling sign is that, over twenty years later, we still have the same clothes in our wardrobes!

 

14 The location is Compton Verney art gallery, which was one of our favourite destinations. We went there with Dad and Pam, with Aunty Mary, and with our friends Jackie and Jim. Another location for art that we enjoyed (in addition to it being free for National Trust members) was Petworth House.

We loved art, although Deborah did not like to stand in front of a painting for too long.

 

15 (8) Deborah was very close to her Dad, and here they are at Hampton Court on one of our many excursions there.

 

16 Deborah is pictured with Aunty Mary – I think it is outside the Royal Oak in the Cotswolds after we had Sunday lunch there. We would try to get to see her about every two months.

 

17 (9) Deborah was always cajoling people to get into position for the photo, usually it was her two brothers, but here it is her Mum and Aunty Mary at Wisley.

 

18 Confusingly, Deborah had two aunts called Mary – one was her Mum’s sister who was known as Aunty Mary (even by the people that never met her but had heard Deborah and myself talking about her) and one was her Dad’s sister who we called Mary to stop the confusion. We had a lovely two weeks with Mary out in Port Shepstone, near Durban, South Africa. In this photo, the two ladies are relaxing.

 

19 (10) Mary, Deborah and I are relaxing in Mary’s lounge.

 

20 (11) Deborah and I were taken around the Zulu rural district – something that tourists never do but we were accompanied by Mary and a Zulu pastor – where we encountered such poverty and disease, including AIDS. In the photo, Deborah is holding one of the Zulu children at the local hospital who had AIDS or who was orphaned because of the disease. She wanted to bring them home in her suitcase. On reflection, I wish that she had,

 

21 (12) In a pose for the school, it reminds me of so many things such as her passion for teaching children, her immaculate dress sense and her collection of scarves. There is always a photo where Deborah is smiling or has the hint of a smile, otherwise there is her infectious laughter which I miss so much.

 

22. (13) This photo was taken in the garden of one of my sisters, on the occasion of my parent’s diamond anniversary. I pick it because Deborah always looked so beautiful with flawless skin.

 

23 Deborah was interested in going out and seeing new things. We visited the model village near Beaconsfield on a warm sunny day.

 

24 In this unusual shot, Deborah is making friends with a lamb as it is held by one brother-in-law Del. She could get on with most animals, and loved dogs, cats and rabbits in particular. The only creatures that she could not abide were birds – it was a dislike of feathers – which made it interesting as her Dad bred budgies and canaries!

 

25 She could pose with the best of them at another National Trust property.

 

26 Her love of family could be clearly seen. Here she is with Paul and Keith on the latter’s 40th birthday.

 

27 (14) In her brother Paul’s garden with her Dad and Pam (her step – Mum), her nieces Rachel and Laura, and myself on the occasion before Laura embarked on her degree course on education at De Montford University in Leicester.

 

28 Deborah with her Dad at a family gathering

 

29 Deborah with her Mum at a family gathering

 

30 This photo was special to Deborah as it was on the screen page of her previous laptop. The occasion was Laura’s 21st birthday at The Greyhound in Poole in October 2011. Apart from a subsequent visit to Christchurch with him and Pam, this was the last time that Deborah went out with her Dad as he sadly passed away in June 2012 due to pancreatic cancer. Deborah missed him so much.

 

31 At the same occasion, Deborah was at the centre of her nieces.

 

32 Although out of chronological order, this photo shows the collection of Deborah, her Mum, her Dad and her two brothers at Keith’s 40th birthday party.

 

33 (15) We had just climbed a hill outside where we were staying in the Lake District when this photograph was taken.

 

34 Deborah put much work into organising Aunty Mary’s 80th birthday party, especially as it was only a couple of weeks after her Dad had died. She did manage to have a laugh in the midst of all the busyness, in this case with Keith. She was always making sure that the arrangements of any event that she organised was perfect, ceaselessly worrying whether she had done enough.

 

35 (16) At Aunty Mary’s 80th birthday party, Deborah is seen with her Aunty, her brothers and her cousins on her Mum’s side of the family.

I still do not know how she did it but Deborah kept in contact in meaningful ways with family and friends – all benefitting from her humour, insights, knowledge and wisdom, and her listening to God.

 

36 Deborah had two goddaughters – her niece Laura and (sharing with me) our friends’ daughter Maisie, the latter is in this photo. Deborah took this role seriously and sent books etc. that would encourage them to think about God. We were really pleased when we attended Maise’s baptism after she accepted Jesus as her Lord and Saviour.

 

37 Deborah was well-known for dressing up as an Egyptian princess for a murder mystery evening or going in ‘50s costume to a themed dramatic performance. In National Trust properties, she inevitably delved into the dressing up box, which might have happened here.

 

38 Just before Deborah’s 50th birthday, we went on holiday to Jersey. At a museum on the island, she can be seen sitting on a historic chair.

 

39 (17) She tried on a traditional bonnet that could have been found worn by women on Jersey as well as other locations such as Dorset.

 

40 Repeat of 38

 

41 (18) This pose sums up Deborah’s sense of mischievousness. At the museum in Jersey, there is a mound with an old chapel at the top and a neolithic chamber at the bottom. We had finished looking at the chapel and exploring the chamber when Deborah decided to pose. It impressed me so much that this photo ended up on a mug that I gave her as a 50th birthday present (I did her other presents as well!).

 

42 – 44 These photos are representative of her 50th birthday meal in Poole with her brothers in 42, with Pam her step-Mum who made her cake in 43, and with us as a couple in 44 (19).

A reason that we went to Jersey on our summer holiday was that we sailed out of Poole harbour and had the family meal when we returned.

 

45 (20) Her niece Rachel arranged for Deborah and I to have a special visit to Greenways, the home of Deborah’s favourite author Agatha Christie, as a birthday present to Deborah – being able to park at the car park at the property, which is rare. On this visit, Deborah was able to say that she played Agatha Christie’s piano. Piano playing was a talent that Deborah kept from most people.

 

46 Deborah and I were kindly invited to the wedding of my cousin Nick to his wife Nikki.

 

47 (21) Deborah with her brothers at a family gathering.

 

48 Deborah was always willing to have a laugh, this time it at the antics of my sister Alison whilst we were celebrating the silver wedding of my other sister Helen and her husband Kev.

 

49 – 51 Deborah enjoyed getting together with family and, on this occasion, it was to celebrate her Mum’s 80th birthday.

 

52 (22) The next day after we had the party for her Mum, several of us went for a stroll along past Poole quay. Seated on the bench is: Aunty Mary, Deborah, her Mum and Uncle Les.

 

53 Deborah and I enjoyed walking, especially in the beautiful countryside. She was always excellent company, and we would talk about anything and everything. Occasionally, we might even break into song – hoping that no-one heard us. On the longer walks, we would inevitably get lost for a short while before getting quickly back on track.

 

54 (24) By a fountain in Berlin, Deborah shows how glorious the weather usually was when we went on our European city breaks in the October half-term.

 

55 It was no coincidence that Berlin is named after bears and there are statues of them in many prominent places. Deborah is posing with the one outside our hotel.

 

56 Deborah is back into dressing up mode as lady of the manor The other costumes she tried on at that property was that of a nurse in the early 20th century (when she looked like her Dad’s mother who had been a nurse) and that of a soldier.

 

57 We just loved wandering around the grounds of historic properties, here it is Plas Newydd. In reality, we just enjoyed being with each other.

 

58 This is a photograph of a previous time that we had been to Greenways, where Deborah pretended to be reading a newspaper on the settees – all of which you are allowed to do.

 

59 I am not sure if Deborah ever mastered the finer points of croquet, but she enjoyed using the mallet to knock the ball through the hoops.

 

60 (25) At the wedding of one of my nephews and his wife, Deborah is with my two sisters.

We have been fortunate in that we have got on well with Deborah’s brothers and their wives (Paul and Deb, Keith and Tina) and my sisters and their husbands (Alison and Del, Helen and Kev), together with all the nieces and nephews.

 

61 Deborah is photographed in Florence, where we went to celebrate our silver wedding anniversary.

 

62 (26) We enjoyed going up to Glasgow on several occasions, meeting up with her niece Lauren and her husband Ruairi. We liked the city very much, but here we are at Stirling – Deborah’s and mine most favourite place in Scotland.

 

63 I managed to catch Deborah off guard at a family event in Northamptonshire.

 

64 On a hot sunny day, we went around a National Trust property in Norfolk whilst we were on holiday.

During our time away, we went to Norwich cathedral where Deborah was able to pay tribute to one of her heroines, Edith Cavell.

 

65 (27) On another trip down to Plymouth, we went with her niece Rachel to the Eden Project.

The environment was one of Deborah’s interests, and we enjoyed learning and walking around the different plants in the various settings.

 

66 On one of Deborah’s birthdays, we went to HMS Victory in the Portsmouth historic dockyard. We managed to get tickets that gave us entry to the various museums and other exhibits in and around Portsmouth and Southsea within a year, which we managed to do.

Another reason for going to the south Hampshire coast was to shop at the Gunwharf Quay outlet centre, where we managed to obtain several bargains.

 

67 One of our favourite European cities is Rome. Here Deborah is looking over from the old ruins toward the Colosseum.

 

68 On the previous day from slide 67, we arrived at the Colosseum just as they were closing. On this day, we went on a guided tour around the Vatican museum and St Paul’s Basilica, then walked across the city to finally get in to the Colosseum.

After we visited this interesting site, we walked back across Rome to get to our accommodation.

 

69 and 70 We enjoyed each other’s company with the bonus of exploring new places or re-visiting much-loved ones.

 

71 (30) On our silver wedding anniversary, we had a meal with some of Deborah’s family in Dorset. On this particular Sunday, we had a meal with Andrew’s parents and four good friends. We wanted to keep it small as we did not want a fuss.

After we left the Italian restaurant, Deborah and I attended two evening Carol services, one arranged the evangelical church in Send and the other by the Anglican church.

 

72 We had a lovely holiday in 2019 (before the Covid pandemic) cruising around Norway as we were (correctly) advised that it was the best way to see the fjords. We made a number of friends on the ship.

 

73 Whilst in Norway, we made the opportunity to see as much as possible. In this photo, we embarked on a vehicle to take us up to see a large glacier.

 

74 (31) and 75 (32) We were just happy to be in each other’s company.

 

76 In Glasgow, we tried to see as much as possible.

Deborah was pleased with that blue hat – purchased at a stall in St Mary’s, the oldest church in Guildford. The hat had been made out of recycled wool.

 

77 Over the years, Aunty Mary became frailer and experienced the effects of dementia.

As she had power of attorney and (more importantly) because she had great love for her Aunty, Deborah did so much for her – such as arranging the necessary carers, ensuring that midday meals and other food was provided, organising the cleaning, looking after Aunty Mary’s bank account, switching to an electricity company with a better rate, and so on.

 

78 We enjoyed getting out into the fresh air as much as possible. In this instance, after the church service, we went for a walk on Epsom Common.

 

79 At school half term, we took the opportunity to get away. On this excursion, we visited the famous Rococo gardens at Painswick, which are well-known for their snowdrops.

 

80  (33) In the later years of Aunty Mary’s life, Deborah and I would stay nearby and then take Aunty Mary out for trip to the local garden centre or to Broadway, for example.

 

81 (34) As a result of Aunty Mary having dementia, Deborah was passionate in supporting the Alzheimer’s Society. In 2021, Deborah and I completed the fundraising Walk for Life – which was the last charity event that we did together.

In April 2022, Deborah visited Aunty Mary in Cheltenham hospital (I could not go in due to ward restrictions). We were not to know that, by the end of the year, both of them would have died from brain diseases – Aunty Mary from Alzheimer’s and vascular dementia in June, and Deborah from brain tumours in December.

 

82 and 83 (35) Deborah formed a close-knit group with Sue and Tracy over ‘Cathedrals, Coffee and Cake’ – which meant going around cathedrals and Jane Austen’s house, and enjoying afternoon tea.

Deborah had a wide social circle with many different interests so each one of her family and friends benefitted from her companionship, interest in them, and sharing knowledge and insights.

84 (36) As a couple, we also enjoyed going out for meals. This photo shows us at the Charles Rennie Mackintosh designed restaurant in Glasgow.

On the 19th December 2021 (our 29th wedding anniversary and the last one we spent together), we went around the Christmas display at Polesden Lacey (a National Trust house) before having afternoon tea at a local restaurant.

 

85 (37) This was the last photo of us taken together, having a meal together at the Street shopping centre in February 2021.

 

86 (38) I love her so much and miss her tremendously; however, I know that she is having new adventures with Jesus.



Comments