In funerals
there should be the opportunity to a) acknowledge their grief (along with their
anger and incomprehension, as appropriate); b) share memories; and c) make a
personal commitment to the future.
Methods
A cemetery (coemeteria)
means literally ‘a place of sleep.’ It reflects the Christian belief that
people are sleeping until Jesus comes again, relying on texts such as
1Thessalonians 4: 14 and 1 Corinthians 15: 51. It shows that, until recently,
in the Western world, the standard way of interment has been through burial;
however, burials are now in the minority.
Cremation
became the most popular way of disposing of the mortal remains in the United
Kingdom, replacing burials in the late 1960s, with the increase in popularity
between 1960 and 1990. The statistics have since remained static with about
three-quarters of the deceased people being cremated. The numbers are gradually
increasing with the percentage being 77 per cent in 2017.
An interesting
feature is that a fifth of the 281 crematoriums in the United Kingdom have
webcams so that people who cannot get to the venue can watch the funeral from
their location. There are also recording facilities at many properties so that
the service can be viewed at a later date, with the possibility of uploading it
onto social media.
There has been
consternation as to whether the correct person is being cremated and even the
right ashes are being handed back to the surviving family. In the UK, there is
a rigorous certification process, there is only room for one coffin to be in
the furnace at a time, and the area is fastidiously cleaned before the next
coffin is inserted.
Although
cremation is perceived to be more environmentally friendly, it also has a
carbon footprint. It should be noted, however, that the standards are extremely
high with new chimney stacks being installed to prevent mercury escaping into
the atmosphere and no water vapour to escape.
People are
increasingly wanting a personal reminder so the ashes, or part of them, are
made into a diamond or other decoration such as a paperweight in order that
their loved ones have a permanent reminder. Alternatively, there have been
requests for the ashes to be exploded in a firework or shot into space by a
rocket.
There has been
an increase in the request for direct cremations (that is without a ceremony),
mainly due to the rising costs of funerals (being about £4,000 in the United
Kingdom in 2017). The insurance firm, Sun Life, has calculated that the prices
have risen by 70 per cent in a decade.
There is the
increase in natural burial grounds where the coffins and ash urns are to be
biodegradable, with no toxic embalming fluid and the headstones are to be flush
to the ground. There are to be no plastic flowers and only naturally occurring
bulbs can be planted. There is a movement in these grounds not to scatter the
ashes as it affects adversely the environment. The coffins are buried delivers in
shallow graves so that the body can degrade as quickly as possible in order to
reduce the release of methane gas (a substance that contributes to climate change).
The downside is that this option is often regarded as a middle class choice
because it is often more expensive.
In some parts
of the world, there are more radical solutions.
One of these is
‘water cremation,’ a method that is currently available in areas of the United
States and Canada. It comprises of an alkaline solution of potassium hydroxide heated
to 180°C and at high pressure which dissolves the flesh and other soft tissue
so that only the skeleton remains. The bones are then dried and pulverised into
a powder.
There is also
the mushroom suit, or infinity burial suit, that is popular particularly in
California. It is made from cotton embedded with material from specially
cultivated mushrooms. Its creators says that the infinity suits delivers nutrients
from the body to the surrounding plant roots.
In Washington
state in the United States, there are compost burials. The result is that the
bereaved can take home a pot of soil instead of the urn of ashes. The
thirty-day process is that body is placed on a mix of wood chips and other
composting materials, so allowing heart-loving microbes and bacteria to get to
work. The remains are heated to 55°C (131 F) 0 in order that contagions are
killed and so the compost is safe to use.
Content
There is a more
secular outlook in the choice of songs. In the list compiled in 2019, there was
not one hymn that made it into the top ten. The list was as follows:
1.
My
Way – Frank Sinatra
2.
Time
to Say Goodbye – Andrea Bocelli and Sarah Brightman
3.
Over
the Rainbow – Eva Cassidy
4.
Wind
Beneath My Wings – Bette Midler
5.
Angels
– Robbie Williams
6.
Supermarket
Flowers – Ed Sheeran
7.
Unforgettable
– Nat King Cole
8.
You
Raise Me Up – Westlife
9.
We’ll
Meet Again – Vera Lynn
10. Always Look om the Bright Side of Life –
Eric Idle, from Monty Python’s ‘Life of Brian’
A feature of
this type of list is that it is a concentrated list, whereby people choose what
other people have chosen. In practice though, people who are arranging funerals
tend to be more diverse in their musical options.
It has been my
experience that most people want a religious element to the funeral, whether it
be the Lord’s Prayer, Psalm 23, ‘Abide with Me,’ or something similar. It could
be that classical pieces of music or other genres are chosen that have
faith-based themes. The most unusual choice that I have encountered is ‘Crown’
by Stormzy, which has gospel features.
There are those
people who prefer to have the traditional funerals where black is the normal
colour for the attire[1], but the prevailing trend
is for people to have individual styles for their funerals.
Children
There is a
debate as to whether or not to take children to a funeral. It depends on their
level of understanding and their relationship with the deceased. If they are
meet these criteria, it would be useful to take them as it will:
a)
Help
them understand that death is part of life
Many children
are familiar that death occurs as they experience the loss of other relatives
and even that pets have a limited lifespan.
They also need
to know that sin is evident in the world and that death is part of this
situation (Ecclesiastes 9: 1 – 12).
b)
Show
them that grief is modelled for them.
We are to show
that grief is a natural experience and shows that we care deeply for the person
who has died. It also includes the experience that God is upholding us even in
this dark situation and that Jesus gives us hope in the face of death (John 11:
25).
Obviously, all
parents and guardians will know their children in order to gauge whether it is
appropriate for them to attend.
Christians
and Cremation
There is
disagreement among some Christians as to whether cremation is appropriate or
even biblical. There is the view that all body parts need to be intact through
burial so that, when the Second Coming of Jesus occurs at the end of time, the physical
body will be reunited with the spiritual.
There is a
problem with that view in that not all body parts are placed together at the
time of death. An example is found in Matthew 14: 11 – 12 where the head and body
of John the Baptist were separated.
John McArthur
has commented that ‘the state of the old body is unimportant ‘ and that we need
not focus on ‘how to dispose of our earthly bodies.’[2]
It is evident
that all bodies will decompose (Ecclesiastes 12: 17) so cremation is not
unusual only it fastens the natural process of oxidation. We are used to burial
as an interment process because of the culture in Judaism and carried onto into
Christianity. There is no prohibition for cremating deceased bodies to be found
in the Bible.
Eventually our
bodies will return to the dust. The soft tissue that made what we were will be
the first to be gone – the muscles that gave us mobility, the blood that gave
us vitality, and the brain that held our thoughts and emotions. In especially
acidic soil, the skeletal remains will soon be gone as so many archaeologists
have discovered only a ‘shadow’ that a body was once there.
Christians who
disagree with the practice of cremation point out that fire is a picture of the
judgement of hell (Matthew 5: 22; James 3: 6), which is a sign of torment, pain
and unavoidability (Luke 16: 24). However, they forget that hell is also
portrayed as a refuse dump but it does not stop them using these facilities. It
is also forgotten that fire is also a pictorial depiction of purification (e.g.
1 Corinthians 3: 12 – 15). There have been situations where fire has been the
cause of death both intentionally (such
as those martyrs burned at the stake during the Reformation) or by accident. It
has also been the case where people’s bodies have been purposefully incinerated
post mortem, as was the case for people like William Tyndale.
It has been
calculated that the cells in our bodies are renewed so regularly that we are
‘new people’ every three years. If we are to take it that our current physical
bodies will be reunited with our spirits, there is the problem that we would
have shares atoms with people who have lived before us and with those who will
live after us.
In the Bible,
there is only one example of the Israelites using cremation, as opposed to
burial. In 1 Samuel 31: 11 -13, the men of Israel burned the bodies of King
Saul and his sons, possibly because the bodies were mutilated and decaying by
the time that they were retrieved.
The important
issue is that one day we will receive new bodies – ones that will not be cut,
bruised or be impacted by cancer. Our new bodies will be indestructible and
incapable of being marred. It will be like Jesus’ resurrected body (cf. Luke
24: 30 – 40; John 20: 19 and 26; 21: 1 – 14; Acts 1: 1 – 19).
We are called
to stewards of our bodies, even when we have died. It is not to say whether
burial or cremation or any other process is the correct way to deal with our
earthly remains, bearing in mind how we would be called by God to deal with
what is left behind.
Although David
Jones has called for Christians to consider their position if they choose a
cremation funeral, his concluding remarks are apt whether we agree or not:
‘After all, within the Christian tradition, funerals aren’t simply ways of
disposing of dead bodies, nor are they about remembering the departed or
expressing grief. Rather, for believers, funerals ought to be Christ-centred
events, testifying throughout the message and hope of the gospel.’[3]
[1]
See Giles Fraser, ‘The rise of so-called happy funerals is no laughing matter,’
The Guardian, 11 May 2017,
https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/belief/2017/may/11/the-rise-of-so-called-happy-funerals-is-no-laughing-matter
[2]
John McArthur, ‘Does the Bible prohibit cremation?’ Grace to You, https://www.gty.org/library/questions/QA177/does-the-bible-prohibit-cremation
[3]
David Jones, ‘To bury or to burn? Cremation in Christian perspective,’ The
Gospel Coalition, 2 January 2013, https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/article/to-bury-or-to-burn-cremation-in-christian-perspective/
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