We
may be wearing busyness as a badge of honour, when we should be concentrating
on putting on the whole armour of God (Ephesians 6: 13 – 18) It could be sign
that we feel as though we are too busy to live for God; however, we will not be
too busy to die – it’s in God’s schedule!
Our
lives have become, as Jane Austen once described it, ‘Life seems to be a quick
succession of busy nothings.’ The busyness can be a constructive business,
where we are contributing to the flourishing of our fellow men, women and
children. However, it can often lead to a more negative mindset with us
thinking any or more of the following:
·
I’m
overloaded
·
I’m
not sure that I can cope
·
I
have no space
·
I’m
bad at managing time
·
I’m
disorganised
·
I
feel slightly out of control
Any
of those thought processes will overwhelm you so that you can hardly move,
being paralysed so that you cannot help yourself or anyone else.
The
psalmist has put modern life into a nutshell: ‘In vain you rise early and stay
up late, toiling for food to eat’ and the solution is found that God ‘for while
they sleep He provides for.’ (Psalm 127: 2, alternative reading)
We
rush through our days, too busy to account for one slice of time. We fail to
stand back. Whether we are in a large or small organisation, a church or the
school classroom, we are so perpetually busy that we fail how people are really
doing, being content to just react to statistics.
We
think that we can cram as much activity as possible so that we will get all the
items on our list done. Jesus asked the question: ‘Who of you by worrying can
add a single hour to his life?’ (Matthew 6: 27) The answer is that we will
probably detract from our lives, with the onset of peptic ulcers, strokes and
heart attacks because we are so stressed.
We
are called to be holy people (1 Peter 2: 9), people who are set aside to be
different, yet we maintain that we have to be as busy as the rest of the world.
The
Preacher tells it like this: ‘Again I saw something meaningless under the sun:
There was a man all alone; he had neither son nor brother. There was no end to
his toil, yet his eyes were not content with his wealth. “For whom am I toiling,” he asked, “and why am I
depriving myself of enjoyment?” This too is meaningless – a miserable
business.’ (Ecclesiastes 4: 7 – 8) There is the isolation when we are engaged
in hard work; because the irony is, as we work hard, we lose touch with our
family and friends, and experience the lack of love. The situation can and does
arise that we can become absent parents, spouses, children, friends even if we
are in the same room as others, because our minds and attention is so directed
towards other situations, such as work. We may have slowed down, but our brains
will be still rushing around with the thoughts of the office or factory floor.
There
is actually a definition for this hurry sickness, which is: ‘a continuous
struggle to accomplish more things and participate in more events in less time,
frequently in the face of opposition, real or imagined, from other people.’[1]
The
psychiatrist Carl Jung said perceptively that: ‘Hurry is not OF the devil.
Hurry IS the devil.’[2]
C
S Lewis imagines a fictional demonic protagonist stating: ‘all has been
occupied by Noise – Noise, the great dynamism, the audible expression that is
exultant, ruthless, and virile – Noise which alone defends us from silly
qualms, despairing scruples and impossible desires. We will make the whole
universe a noise in the end. We have already made great strides in this
direction as regards the Earth. The melodies and silences of Heaven will be
shouted down the end.’[3]
The
tell-tale sign is that, in the Introduction of a book that proports to inform
its readers to do less, are these words: ‘This is the book that I thought I
didn’t have time to write. It is also the book you think you don’t have time to
read. The reason for me, and perhaps for you, is admin.’[4]
In
one piece of research, for example, it was discovered that most men preferred
to receive an electric shock rather than be left to their own devices.[5]
There
is the temptation to say that people had more time in past times, but we have
‘labour saving’ devices. It could be that they used their time more wisely than
we do.
It
can come even in those times that we are supposed to enjoy. There are song
lyrics that explore the hustle at Christmas:
December
comes then disappears
Faster
and Faster every year
Did
my own mother keep this pace
Or
was the world a different place?
Where
people stayed home wishing for snow
Watching
three channels on their TV
Look
at us now rushing around
Trying
to buy Christmas peace[6]
Amy
Cuddy spoke of her experience: ‘I used to panic under certain kinds of pressure…
I went into full-blown make-it-better-by-doing-something-anything mode, all
from a place of anxiety and threat.
‘On
many of these occasions, my friend, Holly, an unfaltering voice of reason,
would remind me, “You don’t have to do anything today.”…Just as speaking
slowly, taking pauses, and occupying space are related to power, so, too, is
taking your time to figure out how to respond and slowing down your
decision-making process in high-pressure moments…Because here’s the thing about
my rushed, panicked responses ;pattern: like making myself physically small, it
was an expression of feeling powerless, and it always backfired. Why rush to
make what will likely be a poor decision when stress is already preventing me
from operating on all cylinders? That’s not boldness; it’s just reactivity.’[7]
We
can be so busy and add so much strain into our lives. There are so many
‘things’ that we want to add to our lives – a larger house (with more rooms to
clean), more cars (with additional upkeep such as checking water and oil,
servicing and cleaning) and the list goes on.
The
song by Twenty One Pilots also illustrate the point:[8]
Sometimes
quiet is violent
I
find it hard to hide it
My
pride is no longer inside
It’s
on my sleeve
My
skin will scream reminding me of
Who
I killed inside my dream
I
hate this car that I’m driving
There’s
no hiding for me
I’m
forced to deal with what I feel
There
is no distraction to mask what is real
I
could pull the steering wheel
A
therapist, Ales Zivkovic, explained: ‘One of the problems I see from a societal
point of view is that success obsession and workaholism are idealised in modern
western cosmopolitan society. Unlike other addictions – take for instance drug
addiction or alcoholism – there doesn’t seem to be any despise or shame
associated with workaholism. On the contrary, general society sees it as an
ideal. Just take a look at the messages entrepreneurs are bombarded with and
how idolised the ability to burn yourself out and overwork yourself is in the
business world. This makes workaholism harder to tackle.’[9]
There
are commentaries and seminars on how to be effective by reorganising your work
practices, but there is a rarity of those espousing that you are to step away
from the work situation altogether.
Peter
Kreeft in his commentary on Blaise Pascal commented: ‘We want to complexify our
lives. We don’t have to, we want to. We want to be harried and hassled and
busy. Unconsciously, we want the very things we complain about. For if we had
leisure, we would look at ourselves and listen to our hearts and see the great
gaping hole in our hearts and be terrified, because that hole is so big that
nothing but God can fill it.’[10]
Flannery
O’Connor, a great author from the United States, wrote to God as she started
her literary career: ‘Perhaps the feeling I keep asking for, something again
selfish – something to help me feel that everything is alright.’[11]
Devin
Foley, in his commentary on her words, states: ‘We aren’t meant for this noisy
existence. In silence we are forced to confront that which is not right with
ourselves, while in noise we escape. The noise does not make things right, we
simply move from one noise to another while never learning how to be, to have a
sense that “with me all is right.”
‘We
can continue down this path, filling our being with noise and distraction,
hoping for peace. But it seems to me that unless we are willing to enter the
furnace of silence, it will be quite difficult for us to find the true peace we
so desperately seek in our chaotic, atomised times.’[12]
It
seems as though we want to keep our minds distracted by the avalanche of noise
that can be found by activating the television, radio, smart speaker or other
devices. Silence scares us as we have to confront what is within us and outside
us, often which is beyond our control so we think that the noise will remove
the need to think about it – at least, that is our reasoning.
A
W Tozer commented that: ‘The reason why many are still troubled, still seeking,
still making little forward progress is because they haven’t come to the end of
themselves. We’re still trying to give orders, and interfering with God’s work
within us.’[13]
There
may be times when we are very busy, but being in a prolonged state means wither
that we are escaping from something or someone, or trying to gain acceptance
from God, another person or even ourselves.
We
make sure that there is nothing left in, what Richard Swenson terms, ‘the
margin.’ It is the space between our load and our limits[14]. When emergencies and
crisis hits, we have no capacity to take this occurrences into account. When
the looming deadline or the sudden illness causes us or a loved one to waylay
previously cherished plans, there is no leeway to accommodate these events so
we feel even more under pressure.
We
always say after a major life event – the death of a loved one, an illness, a
personal trauma (such as a redundancy), etc. – that it will change our lives
and we will slow down, but we quickly revert to our default position of being
busy, even to the extent that we go into hyperdrive.
In
her collection of short essays, The Writing Life, Annie Dillard gives
this wise counsel: ‘How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our
lives. What we do with this hour, and that one, is what we are doing. A
schedule defends from chaos and whim. It is a net for catching days. It is a
scaffolding on which a worker can stand and labour with both hands at sections
of time. A schedule is a mock-up of reason and order – willed, faked, and so
brought into being; it is a peace and a haven set into the wreck of time; it is
a lifeboat on which you find yourself, decades later, still living. Each day is
the same, so you remember the series afterward as a blurred and powerful
pattern.’[15]
The
ancient philosopher, Seneca, argued that busyness is a decision: ‘No one will
bring back the years; no one will restore you to yourself. Life will follow the
path it began to take, and will neither reverse or check its course. It will
cause no commotion to remind you of its swiftness, but glide on quietly. It
will not lengthen itself for a king’s command or a people’s favour. As it
started out on its first day, so it will run on, nowhere pausing or turning
aside, What will be the outcome? You have been preoccupied while life hastens
on. Meanwhile, death will arrive, and you have no choice in making yourself available
for that.’[16]
We
think that, in numbing ourselves from thinking about eternity (hence, the rise
of the ‘nones’ who are not anti-religious but have honestly not thought about
the eternal perspective), we think that we are putting off our deep thinking until
it is too late.
In
his Choruses from ‘The Rock,’ T S Eliot wrote:
All
our knowledge brings us nearer to death,
But
nearness to death no nearer to God.
Where
is the Life we have lost in living?
Where
is the wisdom we have lost in knowledge?
Where
is the knowledge we have lost in information?
We
think that putting our foot on the accelerator will help in our predicament,
but it only makes things worse.
Moses
prayed: ‘Teach us to number our days aright, so that may gain a heart of
wisdom.’ (Psalm 90: 12)
In
response to our contest to be as busy as busy, Augustine of Hippo reminded us
that ‘God is always trying to give good things to us, but our hands are too
full to receive them.’[17]
I
am reminded that, at an end of a Christian conference, the speaker hoped that
everyone would have a safe journey and that the angels would be with the
attendees up to the speed of 70 miles per hour, for if we went faster, we would
be on our own.
It
does not matter where we are, the pull of busyness is prevalent. A journalist
asked Thomas Merton to diagnose the leading spiritual malaise of the modern
era, the monk replied succinctly that it was efficiency. The reason was that:
‘From the monastery to the Pentagon, the plant has to run…and there is little
time after that to do anything else.’[18]
A
study by psychologists at Harvard University discovered that we spend about 47
per cent of our time thinking about something else rather than the task in
front of us. [19]
It
has been described by mindfulness expert Tom Evans in these words: ‘Our
wandering minds vault from vault to vault – like tree monkeys – which can leave
us feeling unhappy, restless and stressed.’ [20]
It
has a physical impact on us as we seek to fill our lives with activities that
will suck our energy from our bodies. ‘When our minds are running at a million
miles an hour, our bodies can’t keep up,’ explained Dr Libby Weaver. ‘Rushing
can make up feel stressed, disrupt our concentration and impact our sleep.’[21]
Often
we are like hamsters – alternating between frantic activity and being asleep.
School
teachers have found that writing comments at the end of a student’s piece of
work (such as how to improve it) is
counterproductive because all the student wants to know is the score and then
they move onto the next thing. Even at a young age, an item is of interest for
the slightest moment before they move onto something that will catch their
attention.
In
conferences and other large gatherings, even Christian ones, there can be a
tendency to go to every possible event rather than being strategic, even to the
extent of going to seminars that are not and may never be part of your life. If
you are anything like me, you would have made copious notes, which we must
re-visit in order to get the maximum benefit out of them.
I
am all for Christians to attend Bible conferences and other events like that as
we gain God’s perspective on how we should live in the world that He created.
It may be that you especially need a retreat to a bubble of splendid isolation
with God before it’s crunch time as you face the next challenge before you. It
is easy to go tearing into the next biggest thing without taking a step back
without assessing it and, more importantly, getting God’s angle on it.
The
tell-tale signs
The
tell-tale signs that you are speeding up with no prospect of slowing down can
be there for all to see[22]:
·
There
is the inability to control your emotions
When
you get irritable with your nearest and dearest, alarm bells should be ringing.
It can also be manifested in feeling anxious, depressed and/or overwhelmed. It
feels as though you are not in control of your life.
When
you think that there will be markers in your life when you think that it will
all slow down (such as having a baby, retirement, moving to another location),
it does not and can even push us into another season of busyness.
It
can be that we pile the pressure on ourselves, out of perfectionism or another
cause, so that the cap of our internal boilers blows and other people have to
feel the steam coming out of us.
·
Lack
of self-care
When
there are deadlines to meet or the household chores that are building up, we
can neglect the necessity of eating and drinking healthily, and taking the
appropriate physical activity. The result is that you could become obese or
overweight, which will lead, in turn, to serious physical and mental health
condition possibly reducing your life expectancy.
It
could also be demonstrated in the lack of personal hygiene or the loss of
regard for your personal appearance. The sign that you are living too fast can
be seen in un-ironed shirts or blouses and in unkempt hair.
·
Illness
It
is noticeable that the number of teachers attending doctors’ surgeries rises
once schools have ended their terms. It is because teachers have been living on
adrenaline which declines once the pressure is off.
It
could be that illness could be a way of God telling you through your body that
changes are to be made to your lifestyle.
·
Chronic
Lateness
There
is no such thing as being ‘fashionably late’ – it is sign of rudeness and it
gives the impression that you do not care.
It
is often caused by acceding to the claims made by other people or wanting to be
involved in too many activities. It might not be these that caused the lateness
in and of themselves, but we may feel too lethargic to be motivated to be on
time.
The
result may be that we disappoint people who may not be involved of you having
too many commitments.
There
has to recognition as to what our limits are and we are to set our priorities.
We need to put a guard on our time and energy.
·
Self-medicating
and Excess
When
the demands of life are overwhelming, self-medication is one of the popular
responses. It could be going to the medicine cupboard to have more than the
recommended number of pain relief tablets as we are experiencing headaches due
to the pressure we have put upon ourselves.
The
excess could be going to the extreme of over-exercising where we try to
compensate for our lack of physical wellbeing most of the time. It will result
in harm to our bodies as we are meant to treat it well. Alternatively, we can
be over-indulging in our favourite sugar-laden snack item, almost to the point
that we think that we are owed it.
There
can be over-sleeping as we try to catch up on the nights spent beavering away
or worrying about that pile of work that is outstanding.
If
we are not living as God intended, we will find that they are empty and broken
canisters that will not satisfy us as we seek to be revived and restored.
The
reliance of things to escape our bulging to-do list is a warning sign that we
need to reduce our busyness and take time out to get a right perspective.
Otherwise, there are the real dangers that we will end up feeling empty and in
a distant relationship with God as we have sought to place other idols in front
of Him.
·
Neglecting
Important Relationships
In
closing the door to your home, you should be putting behind the busyness at
work, although we often invite it in before the door is shut. There will be
occasions when it will be inevitable when work has to be done, but if it is
undertaken on a regular basis, there has to be a personal audit as to whether
it is affecting your relationships with
those who you really care for- your spouse, children, close friends, family,
church friends and colleagues.
If
the slightest feel of guilt is felt, it is the warning light that something has
to change. We will start to feel guilt and then apathy will set in, which will
culminate in either distancing yourself from them or serious restorative
measures in order to get the relationship back to where it should be. It can be
that, if we wander away from others as we are on the byway of work, there may
not be the opportunity to bring it back as the song ‘Cat’s in the cradle’ (the
lyrics of which are reproduced at the end of the article) illustrates.
In
the Creation narrative, it would have easy for God to set Adam in the Garden of
Eden to work for as long and as hard as Adam wanted. However, God pointed out
that Adam was not created for the solitary lifestyle as building and
maintaining relationships were an integral part of his identity for ‘it is not
good for a man to be alone.’ (Genesis 2: 18)
·
Neglecting
God
It
is not the same as neglecting church. When we shorten or forgo our time with
God in reading His word or communicating with Him then we are in real trouble.
It is in having that walking together moments that we get His viewpoint on us,
our lives and how we are to respond to those around us. It is part of His grand
design in that we were meant to be in communion with Him and not run in our own
little ways.
When
you look around the world, it is clear that slower activities are gaining
interest, for example, sitting down and reading a book (although it is possible
to fast read), gardening or cooking (including, in its slowest format, baking
bread). According to ClassPass in 2017, the activity that has seen the greatest
growth in the health and fitness sector in the United States was meditation,
restorative and recovery classes.[23]
A
survey among adults in the United States found that one in four found time to
get outside and think deeply. The
research group found that the following were used in Christian or ‘spiritual’
‘self-care’:[24]
25%
Spending time in nature for reflection
21%
Reading books on spiritual topic
19%
Meditation
16%
Practicing silence and/or solitude
14%
Journaling or writing your thoughts
12%
Yoga
12%
Attending groups or retreats
Failure
to sit down and think will be detrimental to our lives, whether it be school,
work, leisure and even church. In all of our activity, we are not letting our
thoughts or, even worse, God to come through.
Seneca,
again, gives wise words from his writings On the Shortness of Life: ‘It
is not that we have short time to live, but we waste a lot of it. Life is long
enough, and a sufficiently generous amount has been given to us for the highest
achievements, if it were all well invested. But when it is wasted in needless
luxury and spent on no good activity, we are forced at last by death’s final
constraint to realise that it has passed away before we knew that it was
passing. So it is: we are not given a short life but we make it short, and we
are not ill-supplied but wasteful of it…Life is long if you know how to use
it.’[25]
He
then proceeds to caution that we are to treat time like a precious commodity:
‘You are living as if destined to live forever; your own frailty never occurs
to you; you don’t notice how much time has already passed, but squander it as
though you have a full and overflowing supply – though all the while that very
day which you devoting to someone or something may be your last. You act like
mortals in all that you fear, and like immortals in all that you desire…How
late it is to really live just when life must end! How stupid to forget our
mortality, and put off sensible plans to our fiftieth and sixtieth years,
aiming to begin life from a point at which few have arrived!’[26]
There
is the saying ‘marry in haste, repent at leisure’; however, this principle
could be applied to any activity that we are involved in – e.g. employment,
hobbies, relationships.
Henri
Nouwen explained his situation: ‘I realised that I was caught in a web of
strange paradoxes. While complaining about too many demands, I felt uneasy when
none were made. While speaking about the burden of letter writing, an empty
mailbox made me sad. While fretting about tiring lecture tours, I felt
disappointed when there were no invitations. While speaking nostalgically about
an empty desk, I feared the day on which that would come true. In short, while
desiring to be alone, I was frightened of being left alone. The more I became
aware of these paradoxes, the more I started to see how much I had indeed
fallen in love with my own compulsions and illusions, and how much I needed to
step back and wonder, “Is there are quiet stream underneath the fluctuating
affirmations and rejections of my little world? Is there a still point where my
life is anchored and from which I can reach out with hope and courage?”’[27]
In
the United Kingdom, a survey undertaken by Microsoft showed that almost a third
of employees are sacrificing regularly personal time for work matters. It was
discovered that 56 per cent of the respondents admitted to answering
work-related calls when they were away from the office.
The
same survey revealed that employees who were under 35 years-old appeared to
apply additional pressure to themselves with 43 per cent of that age group
feeling that they needed to prioritise work over their personal lives in order
that they would be line for promotion. Single parents were also feeling the
pressure as only 26 per cent of this
group stating that they were able to prioritise their children because of their
work-life balance.[28]
Although
John Ortberg gave his definition of life in the United States, it could equally
apply anywhere in the world: ‘Being busy is an outward condition, a condition
of the body. It occurs when we have things to do. Busyness is inevitable in
modern culture…Being hurried is an inner condition, a condition of the soul. It
means to be so preoccupied with myself and my life that I am unable to be fully
present with God, with myself, and with other people. I am unable to occupy the
present moment. Busyness migrates to hurry when we let it squeeze God out of
our lives…I cannot live in the kingdom of God with a hurried soul. I cannot
rest in God with a hurried soul.’[29]
It
is time that we will never get back. My Dad used to tell me that, in getting
drunk, it was time that you would never remember and never get back. It is
exactly the same where we let work or other activities stop us from being with
people. I am reminded of Jacob Marley’s words to Scrooge in A Christmas
Carol that mankind should have been his business.
It
seems to be contrary to the way of modern living to be still even before God.
John Milton expressed it like this:
‘Thousands
at his bidding speed
And
post o’er land and ocean without rest;
They
also serve who only stand and wait.’[30]
In
an attempt to get everything done, we resort to multitasking. We have numerous
tags open on our computer screen, respond to text or Whatsapp messages, check
on our social media, and try to get our heads around important tasks – normally,
all at the same time.
Multitasking
can have several important consequences[31]:
a. Can lead to permanent brain damage
MRI scans on research subjects have
discovered a reduction in brain density in the anterior cingulate cortex, which
is the area of the brain that controls empathy and emotional control.
The
brain could be permanently altered after long periods of multitasking,
particularly if media devices are involved.
Kep
Kee Loh, a neuroscientist and the lead researcher, commented: ‘it is important
to create an awareness that the way we are interacting with the devices might
be changing the way we think and these changes might be occurring at the level
of brain structure.’ [32]
The
damage to this area of the brain also affects emotional intelligence so that
self- and social awareness could also be diminished.[33]
b. Reduces efficiency and mental
performance
Earl
Miller, a leading neuroscientist, states that ‘when we toggle between tasks,
the process often feels seamless, but, in reality, it requires a series of small
shifts.’[34]
He
stated that each shift leads to a cognitive cost, so (like a battery) precious
brain resources and energy are being drained.
His
advice is to avoid multitasking as ‘It ruins productivity, causes mistakes, and
impedes creative thought…As humans, we have a very limited capacity for
simultaneous thought, we can only hold a little bit of information in the mind
at any single moment.’
As
to make the point, other research has found that it takes, on average, 23
minutes and 15 seconds to refocus on a specific piece of work after an
interruption.[35]
It is, therefore, necessary to consider how much time is lost because of
continuous breaks in concentration.
The
bad news is, once we are used to the interruptions of checking our social media
and browsing the internet, we will be addicted to the dopamine rush of
continuous switching tasks. Daniel Levitin, another neuroscientist, explained:
‘Multitasking creates a dopamine-addiction feedback loop, effectively rewarding
the brain for losing focus and for constantly searching for external
stimulation.’[36]
c. Creates stress and anxiety
Multitasking
increases the brains production of cortisol, the stress-creating hormone. In
turn, this produces anxiety and a vicious cycle is created that alternates
between stress and anxiety.
David
Levitin gives us the scientific explanation: ‘Asking the brain to shift
attention from one activity to another causes the prefrontal cortex and
striatum to burn oxygenated glucose, the same fuel they need to stay on task.
And the kind of rapid, continual shifting we do with multitasking causes the
brain to burn through fuel so quickly that we feel exhausted and disorientated
after even a short time. We’ve literally depleted the nutrients in our brain.’[37]
The
net result is that we make bad decisions that we would not normally make because
of the build up decision fatigue, a psychological term that refers to the
deterioration of quality decisions after a series of choices have been made.[38]
It
has been described in these terms by Daniel Levitin: One of the first things we
lose is impulse control. This rapidly spirals into a depleted state in which,
after making lots of insignificant decisions, we can end up making truly bad
decisions about something important.’[39]
d. Destroys creativity
Earl
Miller has suggested that multitasking could seriously hinder creativity and
innovation: ‘Innovative thinking, after all, comes from external concentration…When
you try to multitask, you typically don’t get far enough down any road to
stumble upon something original because you’re constantly switching and
backtracking.’[40]
When
it is considered how great works of art or technology were conceived, or how
inventions were constructed, it is normally through single-mindedness without
any interruptions.
Dr
Libby Weaver has explained that: ‘The more time we allow our bodies to rest,
out of the “fight-flight” stress response, the better.’[41] She is supported by the
fact that chronic stress may contribute to several health issues, including
high blood pressure[42], anxiety[43], depression[44], obesity[45] and addiction problems[46].
We
need to realise that life is a journey and not a sprint. There needs to be
pacing like we are in a marathon, not burn ourselves out and then suddenly
remember that we have much, much further to run.
It
has to be considered that great pieces of art, such as paintings or sculpture,
are not hurried.
It
is a common experience that people are scared of silence, that is being with
ourselves and being with God without distractions. To make the definition
clear, silence does not mean sitting down in front of the computer, television,
radio or anything else that will divert our attention from concentrating with
our mind and with our Maker.
We
will develop this thought in a future article.
Cat’s in the
cradle
By Harry and
Sandra Caplin
(from the Verities
& Balderdash album, Elektra, 1974)
My child
arrived just the other day,
He came into
the world the usual way,
But there were
planes to catch and bills to pay.
He learned to walk
while I was away,
And he was
talking ‘fore I knew it, and as he grew,
He’d say, ‘I’m
gonna be like you, Dad,
You know I’m
gonna be like you.’
And the
cat’s in the cradle and the silver spoon,
Little boy
blue and the man in the moon.
‘When you
coming home, Dad?’
‘I don’t
know when,
But we’ll
get together then, Son,
You know
we’ll have a good time then.’
My son turned
ten just the other day,
He said,
‘Thanks for the ball, Dad, come on let’s play.
Can you teach
me to throw?’ I said, ‘Not today,
I got a lot to
do.’ He said, ‘That’s OK.’
And he walked
away, but his smile never dimmed,
Said, ‘I’m
gonna be like him, yeah.
You know I’m
gonna be like him.’
And the
cat’s in the cradle and the silver spoon,
Little boy
blue and the man in the moon.
‘When you
coming home, Dad?’
‘I don’t
know when,
But we’ll
get together then, Son,
You know
we’ll have a good time then.’
Well, he came
home from college just the other day,
So much like a
man I just had to say,
‘Son, I’m proud
of you. Can you sit a while?’
He shook his
head, and he said with a smile,
‘What I’d
really like, Dad, is to borrow the car keys,
See you later,
Can I have them
please?’
And the
cat’s in the cradle and the silver spoon,
Little boy
blue and the man in the moon.
‘When you
coming home, Dad?’
‘I don’t
know when,
But we’ll
get together then, Son,
You know
we’ll have a good time then.’
I’ve long since
retired, and my son’s moved away,
I called him up
just the other day.
I said, ‘I’d
like to see you if you don’t mind.’
He said, ‘I’d
love to, Dad, if I could find the time.
You see, my new
job’s a hassle, and the kids have the flu,
But it’s sure
nice talking to you, Dad.
It’s been sure
nice talking to you.’
And as I hung
up the phone, it occurred to me,
He’d grown up
just like me.
My boy was just
like me.
And the
cat’s in the cradle and the silver spoon,
Little boy
blue and the man in the moon.
‘When you
coming home, Son?’
‘I don’t
know when,
But we’ll
get together then, Dad,
You know
we’ll have a good time then.’
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Frank Powell, ‘7 ways a hurried life hurts your heart,’ https://collegeandseminary.com/college-life/7-ways-a-hurried-life-hurts-your-heart/
[3] C
S Lewis, The Screwtape Letters (Harper Collins, London, 1998) p. 87
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[22] I
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[30]
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[31] CP
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see also Daniel Levitin, The Organised Mind: Thinking Straight in an Age of
Information Overload (Penguin UK, London, 2015)
[40]
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Neuroscientist,’ Fortune, 7 December 2016, https://fortune.com/2016/12/07/why-you-shouldnt-multitask/
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[44] Gustavo
E Tafet and Renato Bernardini, ‘Psychoneuroendocrinological links between
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