There is evidence that those who have been bereaved have been failed by their employers.
In research, ‘Life after death: six steps to improve support in bereavement,’ 32 per cent of employees who suffered a bereavement in the past five years stated that they were not treated with compassion by their employer, and 87 per cent of the respondents thought that companies should have a compassionate employment policy (including paid bereavement leave, flexible working and other support) (‘Employers lack sympathy for bereaved workers,’ Personnel Today, 9 January 2014). Four out of five respondents thought that there should be a legal right to pay bereavement leave, as there is no provision at the moment, although employees have the right to ‘reasonable’ unpaid time to deal with the consequences of a death of a dependant.
It was also established that more than half of the 4,000 respondents would consider leaving their employment if the company did not provide proper support if a close friend or family member had died.
Eve Richardson, the Chief Executive of the National Council for Palliative Care and the Dying Matters Coalition, commented: ‘Employers have an important role to play by being compassionate and having a bereavement policy in place. They should also ensure that they support their managers so that they are confident in having sensitive discussions about end-of-life issues with their staff.’
Dawn Chaplin, co-founder of the National Bereavement Alliance, stated: ‘Learning to live with the loss of someone close is one of the most painful experiences we can encounter, and society’s response often makes it even harder. There’s an urgent need to improve access to bereavement services and to ensure that people who are bereaved are not ignored or left isolated.’
Jeya Thiruchelvam, employment law editor at XperHR, explained: ‘Section 57a of the Employment Rights Act 1996 entitles all employees to take a reasonable amount of time off work ‘to take action which is necessary’ in relation to the care of certain dependents. The case of Foster v Cartwright Black in 2004 established that action can include making funeral arrangements, attending the funeral, registering the death, applying for probate and similar practical arrangements.’
In the midst of bereavement, according to research from the Miscarriage Association and University College London, male partners often feel unable to talk about their feelings of loss and pain (‘Miscarriage partners ‘often feel ignored and invisible’,’ www.bbc.co.uk, 21 July 2014). They often keep their feelings hidden so not to upset their wife or partner or saying the wrong thing (46 per cent did not share all their feelings and 22 per cent did not talk about any of their feelings). The result was that half the respondents stated that it affected their work and 47 per cent stated that they had sleep problems.
We are told to ‘mourn with those who mourn’ (Romans 12: 15), as it is a part of human existence (Ecclesiastes 3: 4). Whilst we are on earth, we can only look forward to a time when death and bereavement will pass away (Revelation 21: 4).
As each person has their own experience of bereavement, so we are to walk with them on the journey with sensitivity and with the appropriate amount of assistance that the person facing the loss wants.
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